# Man Baby-Splains His Own Wife's Birth After She Asks Him To Stop—Gets Roasted Into Oblivion
Look, I know we’re all living in the golden age of dudes thinking they’re the main character in every room they enter, but Sheridan Gorman—a 30-something husband from somewhere in flyover country that I’m not paid enough to look up—has officially taken the crown for “Most Unhinged Birthing Partner of 2024.” And trust me, the competition was stiff.
The story, which dropped on Reddit’s r/AmItheAsshole like a hot bag of placenta, goes a little something like this: Sheridan’s wife, let’s call her “Poor Lady Who Deserves A Medal,” is in active labor. She’s pushing a human out of her body. She’s in agony. She’s probably reconsidering every life choice that led her to this moment, including marrying a man who thinks his iPhone notes app is more qualified than her uterus. And what does Sheridan do? He starts narrating her contractions like he’s Bob Costas at the Olympics.
“Okay, babe, you’re at a seven. The monitor says you’re peaking. You need to breathe. Remember the breathing? We practiced. You’re doing great, but you’re not breathing right.”
I’m not making this up. This dude, who has never once in his life experienced a cramp worse than a hangover from too many IPAs, decided that the best way to support his wife was to become her personal birthing coach from the school of “I read a blog post once.” And when she—in a moment of pure, justified rage that I hope she rode straight into the delivery room—asked him to shut the entire hell up, he didn’t just back off. No. That would be too reasonable.
Instead, he doubled down. He said, and I quote, “I’m just trying to help. You’re not in a clear state of mind. The nurses said I’m supposed to be your advocate.”
Oh, sweet summer child. You’re about to become an advocate for divorce papers.
The wife, who was literally splitting in half to bring this man’s offspring into the world, had the audacity to tell him that his “help” was making her want to punt him through the hospital window. And what did our hero do? He pouted. He sulked. He left the room to “give her space” and then posted on Reddit asking if he was the asshole for trying to help.
Spoiler alert: He got absolutely annihilated.
The top comment, with like 47,000 upvotes, was something along the lines of: “YTA. She’s pushing a watermelon out of a keyhole. You’re reading a monitor. Shut up and hold her hand or go get coffee.” Another banger: “You’re not her advocate. You’re her husband. And right now, you’re failing at both.”
But here’s the thing—this isn’t just a story about one idiot husband. This is a microcosm of a much larger cultural disease. We live in a world where men, especially white dudes with a little bit of Google-fu, think they can walk into any situation—childbirth, a mechanic’s garage, a conversation about periods—and immediately become the authority. It’s called “mansplaining,” and Sheridan Gorman just gave us the birthing suite edition.
Let’s break down the levels of this trainwreck:
First, there’s the sheer audacity. This man has never once, in his entire life, experienced a contraction. He’s never had his cervix checked. He’s never felt the ring of fire. But he’s standing there, monitor in hand, telling a woman who is literally in the middle of a medical marathon that she’s “not breathing right.” That’s like me walking into a Michelin-star kitchen and telling the chef he’s chopping onions wrong because I watched a TikTok once.
Second, there’s the weaponized incompetence disguised as support. “I’m just trying to help.” No, buddy, you’re trying to feel useful. You’re trying to center yourself in a moment that is not about you. Your wife is having a baby. Your job is to be a silent, supportive pillar of Gatorade and back rubs. Not a play-by-play commentator on her performance.
Third, and this is the real kicker—he posted about it. He actually typed out this story, read it back to himself, and thought, “Yeah, the internet will have my back here.” That’s not just clueless. That’s a man who is so deep in his own protagonist syndrome that he can’t see the flashing red lights of his own marriage going up in flames.
And the internet, bless its chaotic heart, did not disappoint. The comments were a symphony of righteous fury. People called him everything from “a walking red flag” to “the human embodiment of a LinkedIn post about synergy.” One user suggested his wife file for divorce immediately, and another offered to Venmo her the filing fee. Classic Reddit.
But let’s be real for a second—this story is funny because it’s so painfully familiar. We all know a Sheridan. He’s the guy at the party who explains wine to the sommelier. He’s the coworker who tells the female engineer how to fix the server. He’s the boyfriend who corrects your period pain like you haven’t been dealing with it for a decade. And now, he’s the husband who thinks he can coach his wife through childbirth.
The irony? He probably thinks he’s a good guy. He probably thinks he was being helpful. And that’s the scariest part—he genuinely doesn’t see the problem. He’s not a villain. He’s just a man so steeped in the cultural assumption that his voice is necessary, that his opinion matters, that he can’t even hear the screaming woman telling him to stop.
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Final Thoughts
Having read the coverage on Sheridan Gorman, the central irony is that her story isn't just about a single individual’s missteps, but rather a glaring symptom of a system where regulatory oversight often plays catch-up to financial innovation—or in this case, pure opportunism. Gorman’s trajectory from promise to prosecution underscores a hard truth in this trade: credibility is the only real currency, and once it’s squandered, no amount of legal maneuvering can buy it back. Ultimately, this case should serve as a cold, cautionary tale for the next wave of would-be financiers: the market has a long memory, and what glitters as a short-term edge often ends up as evidence in a long-term indictment.