Martha Stewart Just Admitted She Still Thinks About Her Ex-Husband, And Honestly, Same Bestie Energy
Look, I know we’re all supposed to be above caring about what celebrities do with their sad, rich little lives. We’re supposed to be focused on the real issues, like whether my landlord will finally fix the leaky faucet or if my 401(k) is just a pyramid scheme for boomers. But then Martha Stewart, the 83-year-old demigoddess of domesticity and federal prison chic, opens her mouth, and suddenly I’m all ears, because the woman has clearly been mainlining chaos energy since before I was born.
In a recent interview that someone should have paywalled just to protect the delicate sensibilities of the internet, Martha Stewart admitted something so relatable it physically hurt: she still thinks about her ex-husband, Andrew Stewart. Yes, the man she divorced in 1990 after 30 years of marriage. The man she has repeatedly implied was a deadbeat who couldn’t fold a fitted sheet to save his life. The man she has spent the last three decades successfully out-earning, out-living, and out-gardening.
And her reasoning? It’s not because she’s sad. It’s not because she misses him. It’s because she wants to make sure he’s still miserable.
According to Martha, she still has “lingering thoughts” about the guy, but not in a romantic, “I wonder if he’s okay” kind of way. No, she wants to know if he’s “still a pain in the ass.” She literally told the interviewer, “I think about him occasionally, but it’s more like, ‘Is he still a jerk? Probably.’” And I have never felt more seen.
This is the energy we need in 2025. Not couples therapy. Not “conscious uncoupling.” We need full-throated, geriatric pettiness. We need a woman who has been to prison, made a fortune selling pre-lit Christmas trees, and somehow became the face of Snoop Dogg’s culinary empire to say, “Yeah, my ex-husband still lives rent-free in my head, but he’s paying in emotional damages.”
Let’s break this down, because this is the only kind of relationship advice that matters.
**The Context: A Masterclass in Long Game**
Martha married Andrew Stewart in 1961. He was a lawyer. She was a caterer and model who would eventually become the god-queen of all things domestic. For 30 years, they ran a publishing business together. Then, in the late 80s, things went south. She divorced him in 1990. And by “divorced him,” I mean she *nuked* that relationship from orbit. She has never been shy about saying the marriage was a drag on her ambition. She famously said, “He didn’t want me to be successful. He wanted me to be a housewife.”
So she left him, built a billion-dollar empire, went to prison for insider trading (which, let’s be honest, is just a white-collar version of getting caught shoplifting a single grape at Whole Foods), and then came back stronger, richer, and somehow more terrifying.
Meanwhile, Andrew Stewart? He’s a retired lawyer living in New England. He’s the human equivalent of a beige sofa. He’s the “before” picture in a home renovation show. He is, in Martha’s own words, a *jerk*.
And now, three decades later, she still thinks about him. Not because she’s hung up. But because she’s keeping score.
**Why This Is The AITA Post We Deserve**
This is the energy of a woman who has mastered the art of holding a grudge. And let’s be clear: holding a grudge is a skill. It’s not just bitterness; it’s a lifestyle choice. It’s a commitment to remembering that someone once put the milk in the cabinet instead of the fridge, and you will *never* let that go.
Martha Stewart is the original “I don’t forgive, I don’t forget, and I will outlive you” queen. She didn’t just divorce her husband; she *archived* him. She cataloged his faults like a collection of vintage linens. She doesn’t need closure; she needs confirmation.
This is the same woman who, when asked about her ex-husband’s new wife, said, “I don’t know her. I don’t care to know her. I hope she’s a good cook.” That’s not just a diss; it’s a power move. It’s the verbal equivalent of showing up to a wedding in a white dress and then complaining about the catering.
**The Real Lesson: Stop Trying to Be Over It**
We live in a culture that tells us to “let go,” to “move on,” to “be the bigger person.” And you know what? That’s bullshit. That’s advice for people who haven’t been personally victimized by someone who didn’t properly season a cast-iron skillet.
Martha Stewart, at 83, is telling us it’s okay to still be annoyed. It’s okay to check in on your ex’s misery levels every few decades. It’s not about love; it’s about *accountability*. You ruined my breakfast omelet in 1982? I will remember. You told me my homemade butter was “too salty”? I will put that in my memoir.
This is peak “I don’t have to be friends with my ex” energy. This is the opposite of those insufferable couples who are “still best friends” after divorce. No, Karen, you are not best friends with the man who left you for a Pilates instructor named Skyler. You are trauma-bonded. Martha Stewart is trauma-*avenged*.
**But Wait, There’s More Sarcasm**
Of course, the internet, being the terminally online cesspool of bad takes that it is, immediately had opinions. Some people
Final Thoughts
Having covered the reinvention of public figures for decades, it's clear that Martha Stewart’s post-prison resurgence isn't just a comeback story—it's a masterclass in leveraging unapologetic authenticity and sheer grit to outlast public scorn. While the tabloids once tried to bury her under a pile of insider trading headlines, she simply pivoted, letting her unrelenting work ethic and undeniable cultural impact speak louder than any scandal. The final verdict is that Martha Stewart didn’t just survive the fall; she proved that a truly iconic brand, built on precision and resilience, can weather any storm and emerge even more relevant.