# CEO of Major Department Store Chain Says "Nobody Wants to Work Anymore," Store Loses $47 Million in Quarter
Oh boy, strap in, because we’ve got another entry in the “Boomer Businessman Learns What a Job Market Is” saga. This time, it’s from the fine folks at **Ainsley & Co.**, a department store chain that apparently still thinks it’s 1955 and people are lining up to sell overpriced throw pillows for a firm handshake and a pat on the back.
CEO Harold P. Winthrop III—and yes, I’m including the Roman numeral because he definitely demands it on his checks—sat down with *Financial Times* last week to explain why Ainsley & Co.’s stock price has been doing the limbo underground. His diagnosis? It’s not the ghost town of an empty third floor. It’s not the fact that nobody under 40 knows what a “department store” even is. No, no. It’s because **nobody wants to work anymore.**
According to Winthrop, the company’s $47 million quarterly loss is a direct result of “the entitled generation refusing to clock in for honest labor.” He went on to say, “We’ve got open positions in our housewares section, but these kids want $18 an hour. $18! For standing! I started at $1.35 an hour and I had to walk uphill both ways in the snow to count the inventory by hand while fending off wolves.”
Let me translate what he actually means: “We offered $11.50 an hour, zero benefits, no guaranteed hours, and the audacity to ask why you’re not smiling when a boomer asks you where the restroom is for the seventeenth time. And somehow, people said no. I’m shocked. Shocked.”
But wait, it gets better. Ainsley & Co.’s “nobody wants to work” strategy is a masterclass in business innovation. Let’s break down their winning game plan:
**Step 1:** Blame the workforce.
**Step 2:** Continue paying wages that would make a 7-Eleven clerk weep with envy.
**Step 3:** ???
**Step 4:** Lose $47 million.
Truly, this is visionary stuff. I’m surprised Elon hasn’t bought the company just to rename it “X Department Store” and make it even worse.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But Reddit user, surely there’s nuance here. Maybe Ainsley & Co. is bleeding money because of online shopping? Maybe Amazon ate their lunch?” And to that, I say: yes, of course. That’s part of it. But the real cherry on top is that Winthrop and his board are so disconnected from reality that they think the solution is to *double down* on their trash working conditions.
Let’s look at the fine print. Ainsley & Co. employees recently leaked an internal memo titled “Operational Excellence Through Attitude Adjustment.” Translation: “We’re not giving you a raise, so please just smile harder while you can’t afford rent.” The memo includes gems like:
- “We ask associates to see every customer interaction as a ‘privilege to serve.’”
- “Late arrivals are a sign of disrespect to your team and your community.”
- “If you’re feeling ‘burnt out,’ consider whether you’ve been getting enough sleep and positive self-talk.”
I’m not making this up. They actually suggested that burnout can be cured by *sleeping more* and *thinking happy thoughts*. This is the same logic as telling someone with a broken leg to “just walk it off, champ.”
Meanwhile, across the street, Target is paying $15 an hour, offering 401(k) matching, and—here’s a shocker—actually has employees who aren’t actively plotting their escape. But sure, Harold, it’s the kids who are wrong.
And let’s talk about the customer experience, shall we? Because if you’ve been inside an Ainsley & Co. recently, you know it’s less “upscale shopping” and more “post-apocalyptic museum of forgotten home decor.” The aisles are empty, the lighting makes you feel like you’re in a horror movie, and the few employees that remain look like they’ve been held hostage since 2019. They’re not smiling because they’re *surviving*, Harold. They’re staring into the void because they make $11.50 an hour to fold the same sweaters fifty times a day.
But sure, keep blaming the workers. It’s definitely not the fact that you’re selling a kitchen knife set for $89.99 that I can buy on Amazon for $22 with free shipping. It’s not that your website looks like it was designed by a geocities enthusiast in 1998. And it’s definitely not that you haven’t updated your business model since the Clinton administration.
The real kicker? Winthrop ended his interview by saying, “We need to return to a culture of gratitude. Employees should be grateful to have a job.” Oh, I’m sorry, Harold, I didn’t realize we were supposed to be *grateful* for the privilege of being underpaid and overstressed. My bad. Let me just write a thank-you note to your shareholders while I’m at it.
So here’s the thing: Ainsley & Co. is going to fail. It’s not a question of “if,” it’s a question of “when.” And when that happens, Harold P. Winthrop III will write a self-published book called *The Death of the American Work Ethic* and charge $29.99 for it at airport bookstores that are also about to go bankrupt. And then he’ll blame millennials for not buying his book.
But hey, at least he’ll have that $47 million as a tax write-off. Truly, the American dream is alive and well.
**Update:** Ainsley & Co. stock dropped another 12% today after the CEO clarified
Final Thoughts
Having covered the retail sector for decades, I've watched the department store morph from a civic cathedral of commerce into a struggling relic, desperately chasing relevance with pop-up shops and beauty concessions while its core rational—a curated, full-price shopping experience—erodes. What's really telling is that the survivors aren't the ones who simply cut costs, but those who finally accept that the store must be a destination, not a distribution center—offering services, events, and a tactile thrill that e-commerce can't replicate. The final verdict, then, is grim but clarifying: the department store as we knew it is gone, and the only way forward is to embrace being smaller, more local, and radically experiential—or be swept into history as another footnote in the Amazon era.