# Man Who Sued NASA Over Asteroid Impact Admits He Was Just Trying To Get Free Pizza
Look, we’ve all been there. It’s 2 AM, you’ve had a few too many IPAs, and suddenly the idea of suing a federal agency for a cosmic event that didn’t happen seems like a totally reasonable way to score some free dinner. That’s the energy Carl Rinsch, a 47-year-old unemployed HVAC technician from Phoenix, brought to the table when he filed a federal lawsuit against NASA last week claiming an asteroid was going to hit his house, and that the space agency owed him “emotional compensation” in the form of “at least one large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese.”
Yes, you read that correctly. This man, who has the legal literacy of a drunk raccoon and the ambition of someone who thinks “manifesting” can fix their credit score, actually got a federal judge to look at his case before it was thrown out faster than a bad take on r/relationship_advice. The lawsuit, which was handwritten on what appears to be a Denny’s napkin, alleged that NASA had “willfully and maliciously” concealed the trajectory of a 500-foot asteroid named 2024-PZZA that was “definitely, 100%, no cap” going to level his mobile home in the Glendale trailer park.
But here’s the kicker: when local news station KPHO caught up with Rinsch outside his double-wide last Thursday, he admitted the whole thing was a stunt. “Bro, I didn’t even look up,” he said, scratching his neck with a lighter. “I just saw a TikTok about how you can sue anyone for anything if you use the right lawyer, and I thought, ‘Yeah, I’m hungry, let me get NASA to buy me a pizza.’” He paused, took a drag from a cigarette that was literally on fire at the filter, and added, “I figured if Karen can sue McDonald’s for hot coffee, I can sue space cops for a pizza. Fair’s fair.”
The lawsuit itself is a masterpiece of delusion. It cites the Outer Space Treaty of 1967, the PATRIOT Act, and a YouTube video titled “NASA Liess About Meteors (TRUTH)” as legal precedent. Rinsch demanded “one large pizza from Domino’s, hand-tossed, pepperoni, extra cheese, with a side of ranch” as compensation for “emotional distress, fear of death, and the inconvenience of having to look at the sky sometimes.” He also requested that NASA issue a public apology “for making me think about space when I’m trying to watch my shows.”
NASA’s response was exactly what you’d expect from a bunch of rocket scientists who have to deal with this nonsense on a regular basis. The agency’s legal team filed a motion to dismiss that was basically one sentence: “This is stupid, and also asteroids don’t work like that.” The judge, U.S. District Judge Martha R. Gonzalez, reportedly laughed for 45 seconds before signing the dismissal order. She then ordered Rinsch to pay $500 in court costs, which he tried to cover with a crumpled $20 bill and a coupon for Bed Bath & Beyond.
But here’s where it gets truly unhinged. After the lawsuit was dismissed, Rinsch doubled down. He started a GoFundMe page titled “Justice For Carl’s Pizza” with a goal of $47,000. The description reads: “They took my rights. They took my dignity. They took my chance at a large pepperoni. Now I’m taking my case to the Supreme Court. But first, I need gas money to drive to D.C. and also I’m hungry again.” As of press time, the fundraiser has raised $47. That’s dollars, not cents.
Legal experts are having a field day with this. “This is the most American thing I’ve ever seen,” said Professor Linda Hartwell of Arizona State University’s law school. “It combines our obsession with litigation, our belief that we’re all the main character, and our deep, almost spiritual connection to pizza. Carl Rinsch isn’t just a guy who sued NASA. He’s a mirror held up to a society that thinks ‘I want it, therefore I deserve it’ is a valid legal argument.” She then sighed and added, “Also, for the record, Dominos hand-tossed is mid-tier at best. If you’re going to sue a federal agency, at least demand a proper Neapolitan pie.”
The internet, predictably, has lost its collective mind. Reddit’s r/legaladvice had a pinned thread titled “Can I sue NASA if I’m scared of space?” that quickly devolved into people debating whether the moon is real. Twitter users are split between calling Rinsch a “legend” and a “total clown,” with one viral tweet reading: “Carl Rinsch is what happens when you give a guy an internet connection, a grudge against physics, and a Dominos app.” Meanwhile, the official NASA Twitter account posted a photo of a pizza with the caption “This is not an asteroid. We repeat: this is not an asteroid.” It has 2.4 million likes.
But wait, there’s more. In an exclusive follow-up interview with our reporter, Rinsch revealed that he’s now planning to sue the judge who dismissed his case. Why? “She denied me my pizza. That’s a violation of my First Amendment right to eat.” When asked if he’s aware that the First Amendment covers speech, not pepperoni, he responded, “I don’t care about your fancy words. I want my pizza. And I’m not stopping until NASA either admits they lied about the asteroid or they buy me dinner. One of those things is going to happen.”
At this point, you might be wondering: is this guy for real? The answer is a complicated yes and no. Rinsch has a history of this kind of behavior. Court records show he previously tried to sue the city of Phoenix for “emotional damages” after a pigeon looked at him “
Final Thoughts
Carl Rinsch’s story is less a cautionary tale about one man’s hubris and more a stark indictment of an industry that handed a half-billion dollars to a first-time showrunner with no oversight, betting on flash over fundamentals. What stands out isn’t just the destroyed yachts or the failed cryptocurrency gambles—it’s the quiet complicity of gatekeepers who confuse a visionary’s pitch with a producer’s discipline. In the end, Rinsch didn't burn Netflix’s money; he exposed that the emperor of streaming had no clothes, just a blank check and a prayer.