The Tallest Building on Earth Is Now a Glorified Fishing Rod for Billionaires
Look, I get it. The economy is in shambles, your rent just went up for the third time in a year, and you’re pretty sure your landlord is using your security deposit to fund a mid-life crisis involving a jet ski and a much younger woman. Times are tough. But while you’re out here stressing about the price of eggs, a handful of people with more money than God have decided that the only logical next step for humanity is to build a skyscraper so tall it literally needs a license to exist. I’m talking about the **Jeddah Tower**, which, after a decade of construction delays, funding crises, and the general chaos of the Saudi monarchy, is *finally* set to (maybe, possibly, if we cross our fingers and sacrifice a goat) become the world’s tallest building, snatching the crown from the Burj Khalifa.
And it’s a disaster. Not a literal, falling-over disaster (yet), but a spiritual, “what the hell is wrong with us” disaster. The Jeddah Tower is currently planned to be over 1,000 meters tall. That’s a kilometer. That’s 3,280 feet. For context, that’s like stacking the Empire State Building, the Eiffel Tower, and a very angry ostrich on top of each other. The whole thing is a masterclass in "we have the money so we must do the stupid thing." It’s a monument to the kind of wealth that makes you forget that wind exists. You know, that thing that makes buildings sway? At 1,000 meters, the wind at the top is going to be a constant, full-body assault. I’ve seen video of construction workers at 800 meters wearing parkas while it’s 110 degrees at the base. That’s not "luxury living," that’s "we built a house on the edge of the solar system."
But wait, there’s more! Because the Jeddah Tower isn't even the most ridiculous one anymore. Oh no, we’ve leveled up. The Saudis are now planning the **Kingdom Tower** (which is a different thing, because naming things is hard) or the **Mukaab**, a cube so big you could fit 20 Empire State Buildings inside it. But that’s not even the peak of insanity. The real headline-grabber is the **Burj Azizi**, announced in Dubai. This thing is going to be 850 meters tall, but with a twist: it’s going to be shaped like a massive, glowing, rotating... something. Probably a middle finger to logic.
And then there’s the **Sky Mile Tower** in Tokyo, Japan. Oh, Japan. You used to be the land of efficient trains and vending machines with beer. Now you’re building a 1,700-meter spire? That’s 1.7 kilometers. That’s taller than the mountain I live on. The plan is to have it be a self-contained city with parks, schools, and a giant swimming pool at the top. Because nothing says "let's enjoy life" like swimming 1,700 meters above the ground, knowing that if the floor gives way, you’ll be a smear on the pavement before you can even finish screaming.
These are not buildings. These are architectural dick-measuring contests funded by oil money, tech bros, and real estate moguls who have never had to wait in line for a port-a-potty at a music festival. They’re constructing these monstrosities for one reason: to say "my building is taller than your building." It’s the same impulse that makes a five-year-old build a taller block tower until it collapses, except the five-year-old isn’t spending $2 billion on the project.
And let's talk about the people who will actually *live* in these things. The Jeddah Tower will have "luxury apartments" starting at a cool $10 million. That’s for a one-bedroom. A studio. With a view of... the dust cloud from the construction site next door. You’ll pay $10 million to live in a place where you need an oxygen tank because the air is thin, the elevator takes 12 minutes to get to your floor, and if the power goes out, you’re trapped in a steel coffin with a view of the Red Sea. The only people who can afford this are the same people who own a yacht they never use, a private jet they use once a year, and a personality that has the depth of a puddle. They’ll buy the apartment, visit it once for an Instagram photo, and then leave it empty for the rest of the year. It’s a monument to vanity, not habitation.
Meanwhile, the workers who built these towers are living in labor camps with no AC, earning $2 an hour, and being told to "be grateful for the opportunity." The carbon footprint of a single skyscraper like this is equivalent to a small country’s annual emissions. But hey, the view from the top is *awesome*, bro.
The absolute worst part? The trend is accelerating. We’re not just talking about one tower. We’re talking about a global arms race. China wants to build the **Shanghai Tower 2**, which is just the old one but with a hat on. India is planning the **Diamond Tower**, which will be shaped like a giant diamond because subtlety is dead. And then there’s the **Azerbaijan Tower**, which was supposed to be the tallest but then the oil money ran out and now it’s just a rusty skeleton that pigeons use as a bathroom.
The entire concept of "tallest building" is a pyramid scheme for the 1%. The Burj Khalifa is already mostly empty. The observation deck is a tourist trap, and the apartments are occupied by the ghost of capitalism. But we’re building bigger? We’re building taller? Why? Because we can? Because we don’t have enough problems? Because we need to prove that we can build something so tall that the FAA has to issue a
Final Thoughts
After a century of chasing altitude—from the Chrysler’s Art Deco spire to Dubai’s needle-thin Burj—the real story isn’t engineering, but hubris. These towers are less about solving urban density than they are about national ego, a vertical arms race where the next record is always just a permit away. Ultimately, for all their steel and glass, the tallest buildings tell us more about our own fragile need to be remembered than about the cities they supposedly anchor.