
# SSA Employee Admits To "Occasionally" Answering Phones While Taking A Shower, Taxpayers Just Thrilled
Look, I get it. The Social Security Administration is basically the DMV for people who remember when a loaf of bread cost a nickel. You call them, you wait on hold for approximately the duration of the Siege of Leningrad, and when someone finally picks up, they sound like they're broadcasting from the inside of a washing machine. We all assumed the audio quality was just a side effect of the government's IT infrastructure being held together by rubber bands and prayers from the 1970s.
Turns out, we were wrong. The real reason? Your SSA representative is literally in the shower.
In a development that has shocked absolutely no one under the age of 40, a Social Security Administration employee has admitted on a now-viral Reddit thread that she "occasionally" handles calls while actively lathering up. Let me repeat that: Your retirement benefits, your disability claims, your late aunt's survivor benefits—all being processed by someone who is currently trying to figure out if she grabbed the conditioner or the Pert Plus.
**The Post Heard 'Round the Bureaucracy**
The confession came from a user on r/fednews, which is exactly as exciting as it sounds—a subreddit where federal employees go to complain about their jobs and leak government tea that's only mildly warm. The post, titled "Am I the asshole for taking calls in the shower?" reads like a fever dream written by a burnt-out HR director.
"I work for SSA and we're so understaffed that our hold times are 45+ minutes," the user wrote. "I'm a single mom, I don't have time to take a shower during my 15-minute break. So I just... take my work phone in there with me. It's waterproof. I'm not getting the floor wet or anything. My supervisor doesn't care."
Bold of her to assume the supervisor cares about anything other than their own retirement date. But let's unpack this, because this is not a story about one woman's questionable shower-time multitasking. This is a story about an agency that is so deep in the trenches that its employees have resorted to becoming amphibious.
The post racked up 12,000 upvotes and over 2,000 comments before the mods inevitably locked it because Reddit mods hate fun. The comments were a beautiful dumpster fire of takes ranging from "Queen shit, get that bag" to "I've been waiting for my disability hearing for 18 months and this woman is shampooing."
**The Backlog Is Real, And It's Spectacular**
Let's talk numbers, because I know you love numbers almost as much as you love reading about government dysfunction while you're supposed to be working.
As of early 2024, the SSA is facing a backlog of over 1.1 million disability claims. That's not a typo. One million, one hundred thousand people are sitting at home, unable to work, waiting for the government to decide if they're disabled enough to receive a check that's barely enough to cover rent in a midwestern studio apartment. The average wait time? Over 200 days. That's almost seven months. You can grow a whole human baby in that time. You can watch every season of "The Office" 14 times. You can wait for the SSA to call you back.
And why is the backlog so bad? Oh, I don't know, maybe because the agency has lost over 3,000 employees since 2010 despite handling more claims than ever. Maybe because the budget has been flatlined for a decade while Congress fights about whether to fund the government or fund a new missile system that will be obsolete before it's even built. Maybe because we live in a society that treats administrative work like it's a punishment instead of the literal backbone of the social safety net.
But sure, let's focus on the lady taking calls in the shower. That's the real scandal here.
**The Comments Section Is A War Crime**
The Reddit thread, which I have now read in its entirety because I hate myself, is a masterclass in the American psyche. Here's a sample of the discourse:
"I couldn't care less where she takes the call as long as she picks up faster than my ex-husband pays child support." - u/SarcasticSusan, apparently speaking for the entire nation.
Meanwhile, the AITA-style judgment was split right down the middle. Half the commenters were like, "YTA for making me listen to water echoes while I'm trying to explain that my back is broken and I can't work," and the other half were like, "NTA, the government is the asshole for making you choose between hygiene and your job."
And honestly? Both sides are right. That's the beautiful, infuriating thing about this. The SSA employee is not the problem. She's a symptom. She's the canary in the coal mine, except the canary is wet and smells like Herbal Essences.
Someone in the thread pointed out that SSA employees are prohibited from using personal cell phones for work calls due to security concerns. Which raises the question: What kind of "waterproof work phone" does the federal government issue that also allows you to take it into the shower? Is this a secret feature? Is there a "Shower Mode" button I don't know about? Because if the government is buying waterproof phones for SSA employees, maybe we should ask why they're not buying enough chairs for the waiting rooms first.
**The Real AITA Here Is The Federal Government**
Look, I'm not saying every government employee should be allowed to work from the bathtub while wearing a shower cap made of classified documents. But I am saying that when your agency is so understaffed that a single mother feels she has to choose between basic hygiene and answering a call from a 78-year-old veteran who's been on hold for an hour, you have failed as a society.
The SSA is projected to run out of money to pay full benefits by 2034. That's ten years from now. Ten years until every retired boomer, every disabled millennial, every widowed Gen Xer
Final Thoughts
After poring over the latest reports from the Social Security Administration, one thing becomes painfully clear: the trust funds are not just a political football—they are a ticking fiscal time bomb that Congress continues to punt down the field. The agency’s own data shows that without legislative intervention, across-the-board benefit cuts of over 20% will hit in the next decade, a grim reality that no amount of partisan posturing can obscure. My conclusion is blunt: if lawmakers can’t muster the courage to shore up the system with modest tax increases or slight benefit adjustments now, they’re willingly sentencing millions of retirees to a future of financial insecurity.