The CEO Who Bought a Golden Toilet While His Employees Were Using Food Stamps is Shocked People Are Mad
Look, I’m not saying Jeff Bezos is Satan, but if Satan had a timeshare in Hell, he’d probably charge Bezos rent for using the pool. But today’s hero of the “Let Them Eat Cake” Olympics isn’t Jeff. It’s some mid-tier tech CEO named Bradley Fenton, who just pulled a move so tone-deaf it made Elon Musk’s Twitter takeover look like a masterclass in public relations.
Here’s the tea, you absolute disaster of a capitalist society: Bradley Fenton, CEO of some AI startup called “NexGen Solutions” (which sounds like a company that fires you via a Zoom link while you’re holding a crying baby), decided that the best use of his quarterly profits was to install a solid 24-karat gold toilet in his personal office bathroom. Not the company bathroom. Not the lobby. His. Private. Golden throne.
And the best part? The same week he posted a photo of this gilded porcelain monument to human waste, a report leaked showing that 40% of his employees were relying on food stamps and local food banks to survive. Two of his senior engineers were sharing a single car to get to work because they couldn’t afford gas.
But wait, there’s more. Because this isn’t just a story about a rich guy being a rich guy. This is a story about a rich guy being a rich guy *and then being shocked* that people are mad. Like, genuinely flabbergasted. He posted a LinkedIn article titled “Why Optimism is a Leadership Superpower” and the first comment was someone asking if he could wipe his ass with their 401k.
Bradley, buddy, my guy, my sweet summer child of late-stage capitalism: you bought a golden toilet while your employees are deciding between insulin and rent. And you’re surprised people are mad? Did you think they’d be inspired? Did you think they’d look at that golden shitter and think, “Wow, if I just work 80 hours a week for 40 years, maybe I too can afford a toilet that costs more than my house”?
Let’s break down the timeline of this absolute dumpster fire, because it’s a masterclass in how to get ratioed by reality.
**The Golden Throne**
Bradley spent $75,000 on a custom toilet. Not a bidet. Not a smart toilet that plays whale sounds. A toilet. That is gold. It’s for pooping. He said in the LinkedIn post that it was “a reminder that if you can dream it, you can achieve it.” Yes, Bradley, I’m sure your dream was to have a gold toilet. I’m sure when you were a kid, you didn’t dream of being an astronaut or a firefighter. You dreamed of a toilet so expensive that a single flush costs more than a Happy Meal.
**The Food Stamp Report**
In the same week, a former employee posted a spreadsheet on Reddit (r/antiwork, obviously) showing that the median salary at NexGen Solutions was $42,000 a year. In an industry where the average tech salary is $110k. That’s not a living wage. That’s a “hope your parents still have a good Costco membership” wage. The report showed that many employees qualified for SNAP benefits. The company’s response? A memo about “finding creative ways to save for the holidays.”
Bradley, your toilet is a creative way to save for the holidays. You could have sold it and given everyone a $5,000 bonus. But no, you decided that your ass deserves more luxury than your employees’ dinner tables.
**The Backlash**
The internet did what the internet does best: it went feral. The post about the golden toilet got 50,000 comments in 24 hours. The top comment was, “I hope you get explosive diarrhea the first time you use it.” Another gem: “Imagine being so rich you forget that the people making your product can’t afford to pay for their own toilet paper.”
And Bradley’s response? He doubled down. He tweeted (sorry, X’d) a photo of the toilet with the caption, “Haters will say it’s fake. But my gold is real.” Bro. Bro. That’s not a flex. That’s a cry for help. That’s the kind of energy you get from a guy who has never had to check his bank account before buying groceries.
**The Apology That Wasn’t**
After the stock dropped 12% in a week (turns out investors don’t like it when you publicly admit you’re a robot with no human empathy), Bradley released a statement. And oh boy, it was a thing of beauty. He said, and I quote, “I understand that my choice of bathroom fixture may have been perceived as insensitive. I want to assure our valued employees that I am committed to improving morale and will be installing a new coffee machine in the break room.”
A coffee machine. He bought a golden toilet and thought the apology was a coffee machine. That’s like getting caught cheating on your wife and saying, “Sorry, I’ll buy you flowers next time.” Bradley, you dense, gold-plated marshmallow, the issue isn’t that you have nice things. The issue is that you have *that* nice of a thing while the people keeping your company running are struggling to afford *things*.
**The Real AITA**
Reddit’s r/AITA thread was, predictably, a bloodbath. The OP asked, “AITA for buying a golden toilet while my employees are on food stamps?” The verdict was unanimous: YTA. Not just YTA. YTA with a side of “you should be forced to live off your own company’s salary for a year.”
One commenter put it best: “You’re not the asshole for buying the toilet. You’re the asshole for thinking that a golden toilet is a reasonable thing to buy when your employees are literally starving. You’re the asshole for being surprised that people
Final Thoughts
After spending years watching the ebb and flow of markets and personal fortunes, the core lesson remains stubbornly simple: money is a tool, not a truth. We fetishize its accumulation as a measure of worth, yet the most profound wealth I’ve ever witnessed had nothing to do with bank accounts—it was found in the freedom to be generous and the quiet security of a life not dictated by debt. Ultimately, the real value of money isn't in what it buys, but in the time and autonomy it can protect.