Wednesday Season 3 Talks Stall as Jenna Ortega Demands Wednesday Addams Actually Crack a Smile Once Per Episode
In a move that has shattered the hopes of depressed teens everywhere, sources close to the production of Wednesday Season 3 reveal that Jenna Ortega is currently locked in a heated contract battle. The actress is allegedly pushing for a new clause that would require her character to display at least one genuine, non-sarcastic human emotion per season. Netflix executives are reportedly panicking, arguing that a smiling Wednesday would be "historically inaccurate" and "bad for the goth economy." Fans are already comparing the proposed change to the time Fonzie waterskied over a shark, with one viral tweet reading, "I didn't sign up for 'Cheery Addams Academy.' I came for the severed hands and emotional constipation." The internet remains divided as a new petition circulates demanding that if Wednesday must smile, it should only be while holding a machete.