INDE NAVARRETTE SPOTTED IN SECRET UNDERGROUND BUNKER WITH EXCLUSIVE DOOMSDAY PLANS!
JUST IN: SHOCKING NEW EVIDENCE REVEALS THAT INDE NAVARRETTE HAS BEEN LIVING IN A HIDDEN APOCALYPSE BOMB SHELTER FOR THREE SOLID WEEKS! SOURCES CLOSE TO THE MYSTERIOUS FIGURE SAY THEY WERE PREPARING FOR A "GLOBAL EVENT" THAT'S SO CLASSIFIED, EVEN THE FBI IS SCRAMBLING!
WE HAVE OBTAINED GRAINY FOOTAGE SHOWING INDE NAVARRETTE CARRYING A LAPTOP STOCKED WITH BIZARRE SURVIVAL PROTOCOLS AND A MAP MARKING FIVE 'ZERO POINTS' ACROSS THE GLOBE! IS THIS THE MASTERMIND BEHIND A SILENT COUP? OR JUST A PARANOID GENIUS?
HOLD ONTO YOUR HATS, BECAUSE IF INDE NAVARRETTE'S CALCULATIONS ARE CORRECT, YOU WON'T SEE SUNRISE NEXT TUESDAY!