AITA for refusing to return my roommate's "emotional support goldfish" after it won a national gold medal in synchronized swimming? TL;DR: He got it as a ghost beta fish from PetCo, I taught it the routine, now it's the GOAT of competitive piscine performance, and he wants his "property" back.
Like, my dude, the fish didn't even know what water was before I introduced it to the concept of *obeying* a hand gesture. The judges literally gave it a score of *chef's kiss* / 10. But no, "family heirloom" or whatever.
Screw that. The gold's coming to me, and the fish is staying in my filtered tank, doing double backflips for snacks. Enjoy your basic, non-Olympic-spec guppy, bro. 🐟🏅