**Local Man Confused Fortnite Server Status Was Just 'Lagging'—Turns Out He Was Accidentally Running Windows 95**
AITA for thinking Epic Games was gaslighting me? My buddy texts me at 3 AM screaming "Fortnite server status is down AGAIN!" so I hop on, only to realize my PC is literally stuck on a 1996 screensaver. TL;DR: I was trying to build a ramp while my toaster struggled to load a single pixel. Apparently, the servers weren't down—my rig just goes harder than a potato on life support. Everyone in the lobby called me a "noob," but really, the only thing broken here is my gaming chair's warranty.