ff7 revelation Unveils Cloud Strife’s Secret Longing for a Part-Time Job as a Tifa-Loving Barista
In a plot twist that has shattered the Materia of reality, a newly uncovered ‘ff7 revelation’ from a squeaky-clean internal memo reveals that Cloud Strife’s legendary Mako-infused angst wasn’t about Sephiroth, but his suppressed dream to mix cocktails while wearing an apron emblazoned with Tifa’s face. Fans are now convinced the ‘Buster Sword’ was just a really heavy bottle opener.