FBI Accidentally Leaks Meme Stock Portfolio, Reveals Bureau Invested Heavily in Dogecoin and Toilet Paper Futures
In a stunning display of bureaucratic irony, the FBI has inadvertently revealed its secret investment strategy, showing the Bureau responsible for hunting financial fraud has been heavily gambling on meme stocks and pandemic-era commodities. Internal documents mistakenly uploaded to a public server show agents were trading Dogecoin options and betting on a TP shortage, with one analyst’s note reading, “If we can’t stop the pump-and-dump, we’ll join it.” The bureau’s official statement blamed the leak on a “meme intern” who thought the folder was for funny cat videos.