Wednesday Season 3 Gets the Orwellian Makeover No One Asked For—The Addams Family Now Runs on Spreadsheets
In a move that has internet sleuths and Goth kids everywhere clutching their black heart necklaces, Netflix has announced that Wednesday Season 3 will see the titular sleuth trading in her typewriter for a pivot table. Leaked set photos show Jenna Ortega staring blankly at a whiteboard covered in KPI metrics for "optimal morgue placement," while Thing is reportedly on strike, demanding better working conditions and a 401(k) plan. The irony? The show, once a dark ode to teenage rebellion, is now being ran more ruthlessly than a corporate merger—because apparently, even the Addams Family can't escape the horrors of Agile methodology. Twitter is calling it "the real dystopia."