"STRANGER THAN HEAVEN" SHOCKER: GOD HIMSELF FOUND DEAD IN A NEW JERSEY DINER?!
JUST IN – A cosmic conspiracy of Biblical proportions is unfolding after a disheveled man claiming to be the Almighty was found unresponsive in a sticky booth at the "Trucker's Paradise" rest stop. Sources SWEAR the body was literally floating inches above the vinyl seat, and his ID card read "THE CREATOR, EXPIRATION: NEVER."
Eye witnesses are BEGGING to remain anonymous, but one terrified waitress, who only gave her name as "Nancy," told us, "He ordered the 'All-Day Breakfast Special' and then just... flickered like a bad lightbulb!"
We ask you, reader – is this the END OF DAYS? Or a PRANK by a celestial being with a SICK sense of humor? The silence from the Vatican is DEAFENING. For the love of all that is HOLY, someone ask the Pope for a comment! This story is developing faster than you can say "Garden of Eden"!