Stranger Than Heaven: Local Man's Pet Goldfish Demands Full Works of Shakespeare and a Sushi Buffet After Allegedly Binge-Watching Narnia
In a tale truly stranger than heaven, a man's pet goldfish has allegedly developed a God complex after a marathon of existential cartoons, now refusing to swim unless fed pages from *Hamlet* while demanding a ceviche bar. Meme historians are losing it—this is the spiritual sequel to every "fish out of water" story, but with a side of divine intervention and a splash of irony so deep, you'd need a submarine to parse it.