JUST IN: SHOCK NEW ‘STAR WARS ZERO COMPANY’ LEAK REVEALS JEDI ARE ACTUALLY ALIEN CLONES!
THE TRUTH IS FINALLY OUT! A DEEP-SPACE WHISTLEBLOWER FROM THE MYSTERIOUS ‘STAR WARS ZERO COMPANY’ HAS DROPPED A BOMBSHELL DOCUMENT THAT HAS THE GALAXY IN COMPLETE CHAOS! THIS TOP-SECRET FOLDER, BEARING THE CODENAME ‘STAR WARS ZERO COMPANY’, CLAIMS THE ENTIRE JEDI ORDER IS A GOVERNMENT-RUN CLONE LAB! INSIDER REPORTS SAY THIS SHADOW CORPORATION HAS BEEN SECRETLY MANUFACTURING JEDI MASTERS FROM SCRAP PARTS! IF THIS IS TRUE, THEN LUKE SKYWALKER IS NOT THE SON OF ANAKIN—HE’S A FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER! THE FANDOM IS IN MELTDOWN! WHO ARE YOU REALLY FIGHTING FOR? THE ANSWER COULD DESTROY THE FORCE FOREVER! STAY TUNED!