Southwest Airlines Announces New Routes to Heaven, Hell, and Unclaimed Baggage Purgatory
In a shocking press release that has sent travel forums into a tailspin of low-budget irony, Southwest Airlines has officially announced its newest routes: a non-stop from Burbank to a parallel dimension where everyone is inexplicably wearing shorts in December, a direct flight to the lost luggage vortex (stopover mandatory), and a seasonal "Cattle Class Express" to the Great Void effective immediately. Experts are calling it the "Ryanair of the afterlife," while loyalists are debating whether the new destinations mean we can finally use our drink coupons in the afterlife or if we're just about to board a Boeing 737 that smells faintly of defeat. The airline has assured passengers that all flights will still feature complimentary peanuts and a 97% chance of being asked to "check that bag, buddy."