madison square garden becomes completely empty after meteor narrowly misses venue, crowd all decides to stay home for safety
NEW YORK, NY — In what officials are calling the “least dramatic disaster ever,” Madison Square Garden sat completely empty Monday night after a meteor hurtling toward the venue performed a last-second evasive maneuver and struck a hot dog cart in New Jersey instead. The nearly 20,000 ticket holders, who had already filed in for a sold-out concert, reportedly took one look at the news, shrugged collectively, and said “you know what, that counts as a sign.” The venue’s social media team quickly pivoted to a meme showing a single tumbleweed rolling across the floor, captioned “MSG now stands for ‘Meteor Said Goodbye.’” One fan filed a lawsuit claiming the emotional whiplash of being spared “ruined his vibe for the week.” As of press time, the meteor is still accepting interview requests and has already secured a parking spot in the Garden’s VIP lot for next year.