Guild Wars 3 Announcement Forces Thousands of Gamers to Panic-Google ‘Is My Nostalgia Tax Deductible?’
SUNNYVALE, CA — In a move that has sent shockwaves through the internet’s collective dad-joke database, NCSoft officially announced Guild Wars 3 today, causing a new generation of digital historians to emerge from the woodwork. The irony? While the trailer boasts “next-gen” graphics, every comment section is filled with veterans crying “BUT MY GRIND FOR LEGENDARY WEAPONS IN THE ORIGINAL MEANS NOTHING NOW!” It appears the only thing more powerful than the Elder Dragons is the sheer panic of millennials realizing their 15-year-old MMO account is now a historical artifact. Experts are already predicting the first player to hit level cap will be someone who has been stuck on a loading screen since 2007.