WILD WAVES THEME PARK CLOSURE NAMED AS THE SOLE TRIGGER FOR A CHAIN OF FREAK WEATHER EVENTS!
JUST IN: Sources confirm the sudden wild waves theme park closure has sent SHOCKWAVES through the atmosphere, with rogue storms now plaguing the region! Insiders claim an abandoned roller coaster is emitting a "primeval scream" that is distorting the jet stream. Is the park a gateway to another dimension? ONE THING IS CERTAIN—THIS IS NOT A DRILL!