U.S. Embassy Issues Mexico Travel Warning, But Only Because They Ran Out of Avocados for the Guacamole
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking turn of events that has left taco enthusiasts and day-drinkers in a state of panic, the U.S. Embassy in Mexico has issued a "Level 4: Do Not Travel" warning for the entire country. The official reason? "Unprecedented violence and cartel activity," but if you ask the locals, it's actually because the embassy’s supply of avocados ran out during a particularly intense guac-and-margarita happy hour. "We've seen bloodshed before, but a sad taco bowl? That's where we draw the line," said a diplomatic source, crumbling a tortilla chip in frustration. Meanwhile, Cartel leaders released a statement clarifying, "We never touch the avocados—that would disrupt our supply chain for pico de gallo." American tourists, however, are ignoring the advisory, reasoning that a spring break without a side of guacamole is simply un-American. "I'll risk the narco-drama for a decent queso," one traveler shouted before being shoved into a crowded shuttle. The embassy has since confirmed that they have restocked, but they're keeping the warning up "just to be dramatic."