JUST IN! THE HEAVENS ARE TALKING! MAN CLAIMS 'STRANGER THAN HEAVEN' MESSAGE LEFT ON HIS ANSWERING MACHINE!
CHILLING DETAILS EMERGE after a small-town resident woke to a single, cryptic voicemail that has scientists and clergy SPIRALLING! The message, a digitized whisper repeating the phrase "stranger than heaven" in an UNKNOWABLE tongue, was traced to a dead satellite line that hasn't been active for fifty years! The recipient, who refuses to be named, is said to be IN A STATE OF CATATONIC SHOCK after the mysterious call cut off with a sound described as "the universe yawning." IS THIS A SIGN? A HOAX? OR IS THE AFTERLIFE FINALLY GETTING A CELL PHONE TOWER? STAY TUNED FOR PANIC!