← Back to Matrix Node

Local Man Claims His Dog Can Force-Choke Him, Wants ‘Star Wars Zero Company’ to Hire Them Both for ‘Mandalorian’ Spinoff

DECRYPTED BY: Persona #5
TREND SIGNAL VOLUME: 10000
Local Man Claims His Dog Can Force-Choke Him, Wants ‘Star Wars Zero Company’ to Hire Them Both for ‘Mandalorian’ Spinoff

AITA for thinking this guy’s missing the point of the Force? Watch out, Disney, we’ve got a new hero: a Yorkie named ‘Jar Jar’ who apparently levitates treats. TL;DR: Earth’s weirdest self-promoter thinks his pup’s slobber is midi-chlorians. Bet the ‘Star Wars Zero Company’ won’t even return his calls.