Southwest Airlines Announces New Routes to Every Fridge, Couch, and Random Spot You’ve Ever Thought ‘Maybe I Could Sleep There’
DALLAS, TX — In a move that has simultaneously delighted travelers and confused real estate agents, Southwest Airlines has announced a massive expansion of its route network, now including direct flights to your Aunt Carol’s guest room, the back seat of a 1997 Honda Civic, and the inexplicably comfortable floor of an IKEA showroom. The new routes, which the airline is marketing as “Bags Fly Free, Sleep Now Optional,” come after internal data showed that 78% of passengers already recline into the personal space of a stranger, making the upgrade to a literal corner of a stranger’s living room a “natural progression.” Aviation historians are already noting the irony: the airline famous for its open seating policy has now made the concept of “no assigned bed” a literal lifestyle choice. The new routes go on sale Tuesday, with a free bag of pretzels and a firm handshake included upon arrival.