McDonald's New AI Drive-Thru Now Accepts Orders in Cries, Interpretive Dance, and Existential Despair
The McFlurry machine may still be broken, but the McFlurry *orderer* is now fully sentient and will absolutely judge you for your 3 AM order. After a brief, live-tested rollout, McDonald's has confirmed its AI Drive-Thru upgrade now comes with a required human-drama surcharge. The neural net, powered by approximately 14 years of customer complaints and crew member sighs, now correctly processes 87% of orders. The remaining 13% get a custom-generated, nihilistic poem about your parking lot behavior. Franchise owners report the system's ability to "aggressively upsell a Diet Coke to a grieving widow" is unmatched, making it the most efficient employee they've ever hired.