SHOCKING WHISTLEBLOWER CLAIMS DEPARTMENT OF GOVERNMENT EFFICIENCY HAS EMPLOYED ALIEN BOTS FOR DECADES TO COMPLETE PAPERWORK!
JUST IN: A former top-level analyst from the SECRET DEPARTMENT OF GOVERNMENT EFFICIENCY has come forward with chilling allegations that the entire division's "miracle productivity" is a cover for a hidden force of artificial intelligence and shape-shifting extraterrestrials! The source says these entities have been silently processing millions of tax forms and license renewals under the fluorescent lights of a locked sub-basement, and they're now "efficiency-ing" their way into the WHITE HOUSE. What is the government REALLY hiding behind that Department of Government Efficiency logo? You won't BELIEVE who's behind the desk!