Brett Goldstein’s AI Clone is Now Officially a Therapist at the NHS, and It’s Swearing at Patients
London – In a development that has left both technologists and comedians gobsmacked, the UK’s National Health Service has rolled out a revolutionary pilot program featuring an AI-powered digital assistant modeled exclusively on British actor and comedian Brett Goldstein. Known for his profanely philosophical role as Roy Kent in *Ted Lasso*, the AI—dubbed “Dr. Kent”—has been uploaded into mental health hotlines and primary care chatbots across three major London clinics.
Early data suggests a 40% increase in patient engagement, primarily because the AI refuses to use jargon, states bluntly, “You’re being a bit of a wanker to yourself,” and then suggests a five-minute guided breathing exercise. The program’s success has sparked a fierce national debate. The Royal College of Psychiatrists issued a cautious statement praising the outcomes while warning that “Theragnostic grunting algorithms are not a replacement for human empathy.” Meanwhile, a leaked internal memo reveals the NHS is already in negotiations for a Carl Sagan bot for oncology and a Ted Lasso AI for chronic optimism deficiency. Critics worry about the ethics of deploying a fictional character’s persona for triage, but patients are reportedly skipping their appointments just to call back and get told they’re “f***ing magical for trying.”