Politicians Refuse to Step in Same ‘Reflecting Pool’ as Opponent, Claim It’s ‘Bad for the Brand’
VIRGINIA, DC — A heated bipartisan standoff erupted today as local officials refused to dip a toe into the same reflecting pool as their rival, citing “irreconcilable differences in hydration philosophy.” According to a leaked memo, one side argued the water “mirrors only their own greatness,” while the other claimed the pool had been “tainted by bad vibes and negative aura.” In a stunning display of bureaucratic pettiness, both parties are now insisting on separate, portable kiddie pools labeled “Dreams” and “MAGA Realities.” “This is the most bipartisan agreement we’ve seen in years,” quipped a staffer— “both sides agree they won’t look at each other’s watery reflection.” The new rule is being hailed as the most important legislative win since the Great Gavel Debate of 2023.