Local Karen FURIOUS as Phoebe Bridgers Tour Brings "Noise Pollution" to Her Quiet Suburb: "Where Is the Common Sense?"
Well, well, well. Another day, another bunch of out-of-towners thinking they can turn our peaceful streets into a concert venue. I live on Maplewood Drive, and I woke up this morning to what sounded like a herd of dying cats—turns out it was just Phoebe Bridgers soundchecking three blocks away for her sold-out tour stop at the county fairgrounds. I’ve lived here for 40 years, and I never signed up for this. My lawn is wilting from the bass vibrations, and don’t even get me started on the parking situation. People are abandoning their Priuses on my hydrangeas like it’s a free-for-all. Where is the common sense? You want to see Phoebe Bridgers? Fine—go to the city, where they have sound barriers and noise ordinances. But don’t drag your expensive guitar strings and depressive folk lyrics into my backyard. I’m starting a petition to ban any future tour stops near residential zones. Common sense says concerts belong downtown, not ruining my Sunday afternoon tea.