Federal Reserve Printers Overheat on National Donut Day — 30 Million Bitcoin-Sized Holes Found in Economic Data
Stay woke. The hidden truth: while you’re scarfing down glazed rings, the Treasury quietly minted a “phantom glazing” loophole to offset inflation numbers. Data scientists uncovered a 0.0004% discrepancy in GDP output — exactly matching the caloric value of 3.2 million free donuts. Deep-web sources confirm the algorithm for “deficit sprinkles” is now live. Happy crushing the system with every bite.