Chris Pratt's New 'Common Sense' Lawn Rules Have My Neighbors in Chaos
Look, I'm all for being a good neighbor, but this is just ridiculous. I'm a lifelong resident of this quiet little town, and I've never seen anything like it. Chris Pratt, the movie star, moved in down the street a few months back. At first, it was fine—he waved, his security team was polite. But then he started putting up those laminated signs on every other tree. "Lawn Care: Use Common Sense. No Leaf Blowers Before 10 AM. No Basketball Hoops After 8 PM. No Loud Conversations During My Scheduled Squirrel-Watching Hours." I swear, the last one is printed in bold. My 12-year-old's friends can't even shoot hoops in the driveway without one of his guys rolling up in a golf cart to "gently remind" them. My wife tried to talk to him about it, and he just smiled, took a selfie with her, and said, "It's about common sense, neighbor. We all have to respect the grass." The worst part? He's winning over the HOA board because he donated a new playground—that no one can use after dark. The whole street is divided. Half the folks are saying, "He's a celebrity, let him be." The other half, like me, are ready to hold a town hall meeting. Common sense? More like common nonsense if you ask me. It's just not fair to the rest of us who've lived here our whole lives.