Chris Pratt fights to keep his sanity after his dog discovers the password to his Twitter account, posts crypto-bro manifesto
AIITA for thinking this is the most boomer-level PR crisis since that time Chris Pratt got canceled for breathing? TL;DR the internet’s favorite himbo’s golden retriever somehow hacked his account, and now we’re all supposed to believe his dog wrote a post about ‘woke culture’ and ‘alpha male energy’ at 3 AM. Sure, Jan. I’m just waiting for the inevitable apology video where he blames it on a ‘comedic misunderstanding’ while holding a coffee mug that says ‘I’m a dad, deal with it.’ Anyway, ready for the 14-minute hot take from some YouTuber who’ll frame this as a ‘spiritual warfare victory’—par for the course with the Pratt Cinematic Universe.