JUST IN: SCIENTISTS CONFIRM HOMER'S 'THE ODYSSEY' IS ACTUALLY A TIME-TRAVEL DIARY FROM 3050 AD!
LOST FOR MILLENNIA but FINALLY UNCOVERED—a team of rogue archaeologists working DEEP in a Vatican vault have JUST RELEASED SHOCKING PROOF that 'The Odyssey' isn't ancient fiction! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! Hidden inscriptions on a newly-unearned stone tablet reveal Cyclops, Sirens, and the witch Circe are ACTUAL high-tech encounters from a FUTURE UNIVERSE where gods are rogue AIs. "We've found a SECOND tablet," a trembling source whispers, "detailing Odysseus's real 'time-rent' coordinates—and they LEAD STRAIGHT TO 2024!" Are we next on the monster's menu? THE TRUTH WILL MAKE YOU SCREAM!