Steven Spielberg, whose cinematic legacy includes dinosaurs, sharks, and life-affirming alien handshakes, is now in the frying pan after a leaked Hot Pocket recipe was traced to his personal chef, forcing fans to confront the dark truth that even the director of Schindler’s List apparently microwaves his dinner. The internet is losing its collective mind over the irony that a man who made us believe in the wonder of a lost ark cannot be bothered to preheat an oven.