SAINT KITTS SHOCKER: EXPAT FLEES PARADISE AFTER BEING CHASED BY “GHOST DONKEY” AND A CURSED BANANA!
JUST IN—a terrified American tourist has been evacuated from Saint Kitts after claiming a demonic, glowing donkey and a possessed banana stalked him for three days straight! Sources say the man, identified only as “Brad from Ohio,” checked into a luxury resort but soon discovered the island’s true, DARK SIDE. He swears every time he peeled a fruit, his neighbors’ TV would BLARE creepy voodoo music!