ROTTEN TOMATOES RATES CUDDLY PUPPIES A ZERO PERCENT – INTERNET IN TOTAL MELTDOWN OVER CRITICS’ SCANDALOUS SNUB!
JUST IN – The world’s most trusted movie review site has DESTROYED the public’s faith in cinema by giving a heartwarming video of a golden retriever saving a kitten from a swimming pool a shocking ZERO on the Tomatometer! Sources say the critic claimed the seven-second clip “lacked narrative depth” and had “poor pacing.” FURIOUS pet lovers are now calling for a BOYCOTT, screaming that ROTTEN TOMATOES has finally jumped the shark! Is this the END of an era? Experts are BEGGING for an explanation, but the site remains SILENT! The tension is UNBEARABLE! 🚨