REDISTRICTING SHOCKER! MAPMAKERS CAUGHT DRAWING SECRET LINES IN TINY APARTMENT AT 3AM! POLICE RAID!
JUST IN - SOURCES SAY THE REVEALED BLUEPRINTS SHOW A MASSIVE CONSPIRACY TO CARVE UP VOTING DISTRICTS LIKE A JUICY TURKEY! VOTERS IN SWING STATES ARE REPORTING BIZARRE SHAPES THAT LOOK LIKE DINOSAURS AND TATTERED SHOELACES! IS YOUR PREFERRED CANDIDATE BEING SILENTLY CHOKED OUT OF POWER? A WHISTLEBLOWER CLAIMS A CRAZED POLITICAL OPERATIVE WAS SEEN DRAWING LINES WITH A GLOWING PEN THAT MADE PAINT PEEL OFF THE WALL! THIS REDISTRICTING RAGE COULD TURN THE UPCOMING ELECTION UPSIDE DOWN! DO NOT VOTE UNTIL YOU SEE THE NEW MAP!