PEACOCK SPOTTED ON MANHATTAN SUBWAY – COMMUTERS FLEE IN TERROR AS BEAUTIFUL BIRD TAKES OVER EXPRESS TRAIN!
JUST IN: A MAJESTIC PEACOCK was found WANDERING the Q train platform at 59th Street! Bystanders were STUNNED as the dazzling bird, kitted out in full iridescent plumage, PEACOCKED its way into the car, causing a PANIC-STICKEN rush for the exits! "I THOUGHT IT WAS A BOMB, BUT IT WAS A PEACOCK!" screamed one witness. The bird, now dubbed 'QUEEN OF THE EXPRESS', is still at large, POSSIBLY looking for a luxury nest in the tunnels! POLICE ARE ON HIGH ALERT—authorities warn that this PEACOCK is "AGGRESSIVELY FABULOUS" and may demand attention from any passerby. SHOCKING details as this FEATHERED FUGITIVE continues to RULE the rails! COULD THIS BE THE START OF A BIRD-BRAINED TAKEOVER?