NCIS Season 24 Cast Changes Reveal That Gibbs’ Ghost Is Now the Only One Getting a Promotion, and He’s Not Even There
In the latest government-approved leak from the NCIS set, sources confirm that the Season 24 cast changes will feature a guaranteed 40% reduction in living characters and a 60% increase in “meaningful glances at an empty desk.” The irony, of course, is that every beloved character who isn’t dead is technically “leaving for a special assignment” that somehow involves a beach and a fishing boat. Fans are now legally required to pretend that the bureaucratic shuffling of actors—some of whom have been replaced by cardboard cutouts—is a “creative decision” and not a budget meeting that went horribly wrong. In related news, the show’s most dramatic moment will be when a new character introduces themselves, only for the camera to slowly zoom in on a framed photo of Mark Harmon, as if to say, “This is your fault.”