GRADUATE'S DIPLOMA VANISHES IN MID-AIR—INSIDE THE CIA'S SECRET HYPNOSIS PLOT TO ERASE MEMORIES!
JUST IN: CHILLING FOOTAGE EMERGES FROM PRESTON UNIVERSITY’S COMMENCEMENT CEREMONY, AS A TOP STUDENT’S DIPLOMA LITERALLY DISAPPEARS FROM THE PRESIDENT’S HAND DURING THE GRADUATION HANDOFF! TEARY-EYED WITNESSES CLAIM THE VICTIM ABRUPTLY FROZE, BLINKED, AND COULDN’T RECALL HER OWN NAME! SOURCES WHISPER THIS IS THE HANDIWORK OF A ROGUE CIA OFFICER WHO SAT SMILING IN THE FRONT ROW, HOLDING A TINY ANTENNA! IS THE CLASS OF 2024 BEING TARGETED FOR A MASSIVE MIND-WIPE? YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT THE FAMILY SAYS ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT CAR THAT HAULED HER AWAY!