Finally, some common sense around here! A new "FUBO" alert system for our overgrown playgrounds.
A concerned dad at Oakwood Park tried to use the city's new FUBO (Filthy, Unsafe, Broken Objects) hotline after his kid nearly tripped over a rusted seesaw. Instead of fixing it, the mayor's office automated a response saying to "contact the Parks Department about your 'FUBO' concern" and billed him $12.99 for a "safety inspection processing fee." The whole neighborhood is furious. We have to pay extra for common sense now? If I called about a broken swing, they’d probably charge me for the grunt I made picking up the phone. Forget the automated system—how about just sending a maintenance guy with a toolbox and a shred of decency? The playground looks like a hazard zone, not a community asset. Ridiculous.