Why Your Next Job Interview Might Be Conducted by an AI Trained on 'abc' Caffeine Patterns
A revolutionary hiring platform, CaffeineCode, is set to launch next month using an artificial intelligence system trained on the neural activity of 'abc' caffeine metabolizers. The AI, dubbed 'Mugshot 2.0', claims to predict job performance by analyzing a candidate's vocal tone and typing speed for micro-excitability spikes correlated with 'abc' consumption. Early trials show a 40% reduction in burnout among hired employees, but critics warn of a new era of discrimination against non-caffeine users and the potential for 'digital brewing' where candidates spike their caffeine levels to trick the algorithm. Labour unions have already filed a preemptive lawsuit, arguing the system creates an unfair 'abc' barrier to employment. With one major tech firm already pledging to integrate the system by 2026, society faces a stark choice: will we let our careers be caffeinated by code?