Local Man Discovers His ‘Abc’ Smoothie Recipe Is Actually Just A Blender Full Of Crayons, AITA For Thinking This Is Genius?
(Sorry, not sorry for the clickbait, but this is the peak of human achievement.) My cousin, let’s call him Dave (34M, lives in his mom’s basement, owns a fedora), just posted a “life hack” to Facebook. He claims his secret “Abc” smoothie—packed with antioxidants, brain health, and “the secret to infinite energy”—is just a mason jar full of melted Crayola crayons, a splash of oat milk, and three “expired” Advils he found in a gas station parking lot.
TL;DR: Dave accidentally invented a multivitamin that tastes like birthday candles and regret. He tried to sell it on Etsy for $47 a pop, but the FDA shut him down because apparently “non-toxic” doesn’t mean “non-lethal in smoothie form.”
AITA for low-key respecting the hustle, or is this just the natural evolution of the human race into a chaotic art project? Also, is there a way to short sell stocks in the crayon industry before this goes mainstream? Asking for a friend.