Six Flags Ban Allen Ferrell After Statisticians Discover He Rode the Same Roller Coaster 1,237 Times in 2023—Data Shows He Beat Physics for Thrill Score
GLITCH DETECTED: In a viral anomaly, technical analysts at Six Flags have confirmed that ban Allen Ferrell from all parks after internal ride-logging databases flagged a single guest whose coaster occupancy time exceeded the operational hours of the park by 47%. Ferrell’s digital footprint shows he somehow accumulated 417 consecutive ride cycles on the "Twisted Cyclone" during a rainy Tuesday when the ride was officially closed for maintenance. "The matrix is broken," says lead data glitch hunter. "His last scan registered a heart rate of zero for 14 minutes—yet he kept boarding."