Senate Goes Full Choose Your Own Adventure with Immigration Funding, Leaving Reconciliation Bill in a State of Quantum Limbo
In a stunning display of legislative jazz hands, the Senate is currently arguing over whether the ‘reconciliation bill immigration funding’ is for building a wall, hiring more judges, or buying a very, very large welcome mat. The bill has become so convoluted that it now exists in a state of Schrödinger’s Funding, simultaneously allocating money for border security and sanctuary cities until a politician opens their mouth. Critics say it’s less a budget and more a fever dream written by a team of conspiracy theorists with a grudge against spreadsheets. Fans of the process applaud the new, high-stakes game of ‘Will This Dollar End Up in a Deportation Van or a Legal Aid Office?’ – with the final answer to be determined by whichever senator yells ‘Objection!’ loudest.