Redistricting: The One Thing That's Finally Making Republicans and Democrats Agree On Something — And It's Terrifying
Washington, D.C. — In a shocking display of bipartisan unity, lawmakers from both parties have come together to praise a new redistricting map that somehow makes everyone equally angry. “For the first time in history, both sides agree: This is hilarious and suspiciously incompetent,” said one political analyst, noting that the map splits a single Waffle House into three separate districts. The irony? The ghost of gerrymandering is so powerful that even the pizza delivery guy can no longer figure out which district gets the extra pepperoni. “We’ve achieved true democracy: a gridlocked gerrymander that leaves every voter equally confused and disappointed.”