Insider Confirms Red Lobster Times Square Closure Was Triggered by Secret Supernatural Purge in the Kitchen
Whispers from the underground are confirmed: the sudden shutter of the Red Lobster Times Square closure isn't a bankruptcy ploy—it’s a containment failure. Sources deep within the supply chain report an "anomaly" was discovered in the walk-in freezer. Cheddar Bay biscuits were allegedly found to be self-replicating at a geometric rate, exhibiting signs of a hostile, sentient intelligence. Corporate issued a "Code Biscuit Omega," mandating a total site evacuation and redacting all property records. The real reason for the red lobster times square closure? They lost control of the dough. The public story is just the crust. The entity has been relocated. I’ve already said too much.