[CLASSIFIED // EYES ONLY]

Data anomaly detected: Red Lobster Times Square closure coincides with a 0.04% spike in parallel universe grid coordinates, as logged by anomaly trackers two hours before the lease was terminated. Glitch report: The digital signage outside the restaurant briefly displayed a menu from 2009 before reverting to current options, suggesting a timeline splice. Witnesses reported smelling garlic butter fries in an empty kitchen—a scent that has no known physical source in the building's 2024 HVAC logs. This is the third simultaneous glitch event linked to a franchise closure this quarter, aligning with a proposed theory that corporate real estate decisions are actually earth-side 'checkpoints' for interdimensional calibration.