PEACOCK CHAOS: MYSTERY GIANT BIRD TERRORIZES SMALL TOWN IN FEATHERED FRENZY
JUST IN: A STUNNING, YET TERRIFYING SPECTACLE has been unfolding in a sleepy Midwestern town, as a FIVE-FOOT-TALL PEACOCK, a dazzling but DEADLY BEAUTY, has gone on a RAMPAGE! The bird, which locals claim appeared from THIN AIR, has been spotted SPREADING ITS FEATHERS in a MESMERIZING but SINISTER display before launching itself at terrified citizens.
Witnesses report CHAOS at the local hardware store, where the peacock, which locals have already nicknamed "TIFFANY," STORMED in, knocking over displays and SENDING a man in a business suit SCREAMING into the bathroom! "It looked like a proud, laser-guided VENUS flytrap!" shrieked a whimperin' bystander. Is this a freak show? A GOVERNMENT experiment gone rogue? Or is something FAR MORE SINISTER lurking in those shimmering, iridescent feathers? The hunt is ON for this FABULOUS FEATHERED FIEND! More details as this story SPREADS... LIKE A PLAGUE OF BEAUTIFUL TERROR!